It is ok to say I feel weak
It is ok to say I feel alone
Like the reverbed echo of the dial tone in my mind
Because I listen, but it feels like there is no one on the other line
And it feels like things won’t be fine
Because my world is upside down and diluted, polluted and I am so lost this time
I can’t tell up from left and in my coat I freeze, and in the winter I burn and the stars pour out their tears as I fall into the sun on every turn
I feel the cold stay of saturated stillness
No still small voice, no spirit to guide my choice, just my tears not moist but dust into the twilight stillness like a lost little boy
So I call myself not a man, but confused
Because I choose to become
And in my choice, I dislike the outcome
So into the sun to begin again
Oh yes I’ve begun
I journey away from famililiar unable to stand where I am
And truly not knowing where I’m going
So yes, its ok to say you feel weak
It is ok to say you feel alone
It is ok to feel like your head is filled with voices and choices
Because sometimes not even in your head can you feel at home
Why can’t I feel at home, at home? The very thought of leaving makes me feel sick
But the thought of staying makes me moan
Growing up is so trying
I see why teens are suicidal
This is the darkside of getting the dreams of your ten year old state of staying up past ten and not doing what mom says
On second thought I’ll take the upside down world and the winter burn
I can’t stand always doing what “mom” says