I will not deny myself the universe
The stars, the blue hues of sky throughout the planets atmospheres
Coursing with the air and the breath of God in the stratosphere
My verse a breath of my thought creating fog in this frigid air
Telling you now with outraised fist that I would kiss the ground where you walk
And as I revere the way you talk, and triumph at the thought of having you as my idol
Relishing the beauty of all your thoughts, patterns unique to my mind
The delicate thread that creates the line of love and friendship
As you share that what you have is mine
And time unfolds, the purple hues of sunsets too many to count from cold to warm
Where you, consistently would go and come as the sun does
That show of perfect love
Always giving and giving and giving
Denying yourself the time to stop in an effort to make it look effortless
Your flaws couldn’t make me love you less
But adore you more
Like heartbreak is to a poet
Your perfection inspires this metaphor
I deny myself the place to look in your face and say with disgrace that I am not worthy
Because that’d be too hard to do
But honestly it is impossible to match your efforts with my words of thank-you
And as I delve into my heart for the words to cure this need
To say that I love you, need you, respect your pride as the lions do
I realize that the only way to thank you is to be you in this aspect
I’m my own man, but I realize its my father that keeps me on track
I realize that we as his family, my mother, my sisters, my brother
We are this man’s universe
His sneeze, his needs, his ruthless scream
We are his passion, after a fashion and we are why, even in pain, he can keep laughing
So I will not deny myself the universe and to show what he means to me
I will strive to be that to my family.
I love my papa, my papi, mi padre, my father, my daddy
The tears I held back as I wrote this are a small thing
Because I do realize what I have and its sad that I know that
I’ll only be half of you as a dad.

Joshua Bull