Constantly is my formulated thought tossed over a discussion like bread and butter
Creating a dislodged emotion, commotion, this feeling I thought my heart had discontinued
Where despite myself I find myself constantly desiring you
Your touch, your voice, your acceptance of my emotion like the motion of the stars
Timeless
Your beauty is…best by far
But you, the thoughts and emotion that makes me want you despite what I know about you
That’s what satisfies the deepest craving of a heart untoward
So please I hope in the last few weeks I haven’t been to forward
I look in the mirror, my brown eyes deep, and see my feelings
And it scares me.

It scares me and dares me and I leap into concrete and I bleed
Bloody knees and bloody teeth, is this effort beyond me
Is this what I want to be, so far gone that I would, for her, bleed to make her see
I can’t believe yet I see the future dark and her shining through for me, for me
For me I can’t dissolve it, solve it, it’s a damn mystery
She’s a mystery, she tells me herself and yet she is shrouded so mysteriously
Weary and wanting to give up, I do
Only to find my self once again enticed by you
Its not your fault, I can’t deny what I want
But I do ask, I ask over and over again
I want a woman, a strong woman, but are you the right one to put all this effortless effort in

I believe so, but you make me doubt
You deny me for another who denies you
And I all I can say is I do know what that emotion is about
I stay consistent, sleep, eat, dreams and in my mind its your voice that shouts

Constantly my thought formulated and made, so smart I think I am
But this puzzle dims my intelligence
The question…
Is giving up to lose you in an effort to save my pride, or to let you go to find another
Because despite your qualms and my wanting to be done
I think we need eachother
I’ve just decided that despite your feelings of up or down
I will still need you.

-Joshua Bull